A New? Hope, I Hope

(I promise this post is not specifically about Star Wars, although perhaps not unrelated)

I just finished The Hunger Games, the first book of the recently popular trilogy bearing the same title by Suzanne Collins.  I highly recommend it and eagerly look forward to reading the remaining two in the series and watching the forthcoming movie.  Spoiler alert! I will not give away too many details, but will be focusing on the general trends of the end of the book. 

The book, set in a future America segmented into districts by a devastating war won by the controlling capitol, follows the story of a young girl, Katniss, who is propelled into a televised “game” where 24 teens must fight to the death.  Katniss is clever, strong, and bound to another competitor by a somewhat contrived romance.  Eventually, she is forced to take drastic measures that could be seen as either heedlessly yielding to this “love” or challenging the all-powerful capitol.  The book ends rather abruptly as she is forced to deal with the consequences of her actions in the game – balancing between sustaining what might be love and pushing against the injustice of the capitol – but the sudden stop could not restrain the forward momentum of my mind. 

Particularly, I found myself predicting all the ways she could show the capitol who’s boss, how she could stick it to the man or stand up to what is obviously a horribly unjust system. 

This strong protagonist may just have what it takes to start some sort of revolution, be a heroine leading legions of rebels against the capitol. 

Or at least she could die trying, sparking an even greater revolution by her martyrdom.  At least that’s how a mind fed on 23 years of inspiring stories hoped this one would turn out.

But the more I thought about these options juxtaposed against the anti-climactic ending of an uncertain girl who is becoming more concerned about her relationship with the other competitor, the more I rethought the grandeur of the rebellious heroine.

Maybe those exciting predictions of revolution led by the now unstoppable Katniss are not the best story.

 

Then, I heard about the current riots in London.  As I researched more into the crazed destruction spurred on by the unrest of economic and social injustice, I couldn’t help but feel even more uneasy at the idea of a bravado-fueled revolution of the disgruntled masses.  These rioters may not have a heroine as noble as Katniss, but their actions are only a shade or two away from what I had initially hoped to find in the rest of the Hunger Games story.

As the end of the book crashed into the hard reality of our world, my heart and mind were left vulnerable and exposed, unsure of how to escape the burning mess all around.

And that’s when the importance of the complicated love relationship between the two protagonists of the book finally sunk in.  If Katniss were to try and challenge the capitol, she would get instantly squashed and wiped from the face of the earth in such a carefully planned accident that no one would dare question the capitol’s involvement.  Even if she was able to muster up some rebel compatriots, this would merely result in more war and death and the propagation of hate.

This does not mean she must lay over like a lame duck, however.  On the contrary, Katniss is in the position of true power.  She is in the position to foster love.  And that love is the only thing that can truly transform a situation rife with injustice, oppression, and death.  That love is the only thing that can bring life into a world of destruction. It is a simple, humble love in which everyone can participate.

(Anyone else think Ben looks a lot like Jim Carrey in this video?)

I now hope that my first inclination of rebellion does not win out.  Rather I hope that humble love wins – the love between Katniss and Peeta.  The simple love that all can express and share.  The love that does not bend to injustice, but rises above the prevalent hate and destruction.  The love that transforms perceptions of the world, allowing our hearts to penetrate deeper into the truth of our reality.  The love that is the more difficult option, but our only hope.

I don’t know which path Collins has chosen to lead her readers, but I know which one needs to be taken.

I love her but I just don't like her

I have often heard this, especially through middle school and high school. I have even though it, especially during those times as well. I think it is a common phrase among siblings, nice people, and spiritual people. It is common in people who know they should care about someone, but can’t stand to be around that person. People who know they should love others, but find in their hearts only disgust.

This phrase is often extended to those that are very close to us in some way and that we can’t help being in some sort of relation with, or to those who we may be around but have no direct tie to. For instance, my sister. Throughout middle school (and even before that) I had to live with her and had to at least act the best I could that I obligatorily loved her. However, I really did not want to be around her most of that time. And even this pseudo loving but not liking only led me to love her less during those years. (Fortunately, I have learned to overcome that and move past those irrational feelings – I do truly love my sister now).

I'd say the same thought runs through the mind of countless children toward their parents – that belief that we love our parents despite the fact that we dislike everything about them. I recently had a conversation with someone who had convinced herself that she did love her parents, but when questioned more deeply about this, found that perhaps it was merely an illusory thought.

Does familial relation guarantee or presuppose love? Sort of – I believe there is an aspect of love between parent and child that is somewhat mystical and natural from birth, but that does not mean that the love is perfect – it still must be worked upon continually as in any other relationship. And you can still grow to effectively not love a parent. It seems we too often take these relationships for granted.

Or, maybe you are standing behind someone in line at the post office. The person is too skinny or too fat, makes weird noises every now and then (heavy breather or squeaky shoes). This person is a little absent minded and doesn’t move up to keep the line flowing until about 40 seconds have passed since a space opened up in front of the line (even though you know that doesn’t really help anything). Then there’s the one person actually working at the post office. This person is not going particularly slow, but definitely not fast. You know this person sees how long the line is and can imagine that there are some people who are in a real hurry. It is not that the postal worker doesn’t care about this, there is just a lack of urgency in the whole process. You can tell it is a slightly dull job and that the person is kind of being sucked into that dullness, but still that has obvious consequences for the whole process, particularly you and the others in line.

Do we love these people? I’d venture to say we most certainly don’t like them. We may have pity on them, but is that love? My point is, we think this, consciously or not, way too often. God forbid we admit that we hate that person; we know we are supposed to love others – God told us to, but what do we do with those people that disgust us, annoy us, that we just can’t bring ourselves to like?

Can we really love someone but not like them, if in fact we are loving anyone at all?

Well, I’d say first we have to realize that we are not loving those people in thinking this way (i.e. that we can't like them). How can we bring ourselves to believe that we can love someone without care, affection, or a uniting of hearts? How can we even begin to think that we are loving someone while they invoke in us emotions we don’t even necessarily feel towards those who may be the most evil people in the world?

Besides, if we don’t confront this dislike where it begins, and cover it up with the camouflage of love, surely it will soon blossom and bloom into an uncontrollable passion of hate and pride towards that person. (Lewis captures this well in The Screwtape Letters when Screwtape encourages Wormwood to "Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother's eyebrows which he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it..." and that this can even be masked by empty prayers for the mother, 12-13.) 

Sure this sounds like extremes, like black and white, love or hate. But is there really any in-between here? If you are not showing someone love, what are you really doing?

We have grown to allow ourselves to too easily separate love – the type of love God tells us to exhibit, love to everyone – from any real feelings. We have developed a love that can be extended without having to get to know someone, without having to face our own sinful thoughts and behaviors and repent of them. We have found this twisted form of love that we try to extend despite the hate in our hearts toward that person.

Is this love? Is it the love God wants us to have toward others – any others? All others? Is this a love that heals wounds, bridges gaps, restores life, crowns peace, spurs hope?

Is this the love offered us?

And if this is all we can extend to those who have done nothing against us, nothing to offend us, what can we hope to extend to our enemies? What deep within our hearts is reserved for them?

So, is this possible? Can we really love? Can we really love anyone, everyone? I think it starts with grace. With repenting of our dislike and allowing God’s mercy to flow over us and prepare our hearts to love in the way He loves us. No, we cannot do it…alone. But I don’t think it is impossible. We can love, for God does not ask us to do anything we cannot do, or that he has not already done (not to mention that love is much greater than we are). Yes, it is hard and we will fail. Yes, our ‘love’ is often imperfect. But I think when we stop believing that our love must be imperfect, when we don’t let ourselves get away with that, then we will begin to find a truer, whole-er, more complete love to lavish upon even those we didn’t like – a category in our lives that will hopefully cease to exist.

A guide: 1 Corinthians 13

On 'Love Wins'

I watched Howl’s Moving Castle yesterday.  It is a good movie with many layers of powerful, meaningful thematic elements.  However, I believe the culmination of these themes builds up to an ultimate message of ‘love wins’. 

And that is a common theme among good movies, especially Disney movies.  True, unselfish love can really make a difference and overcome anything.

And I think it is true.

But I was wondering: why do we have so many movies and books and stories with ultimately the same message?  Why do we tell ourselves over and over that truly ‘love wins’?

I guess one answer could be because it makes a good story that we know will be well accepted.  This seems kind of shallow at first, but it acknowledges that all humans have some desire to see love win out every time.  It is something hard wired in us – we hunger for love and good to win.  It is simply unsatisfying otherwise.

Another reason may be that we in fact doubt that love does win.  

We go through our lives and experience so much hurt and hate.  It seems as though the exact opposite of love is growing and edging out over love.  So we must remind ourselves that despite the sometimes bleak reality, there is a greater reality at work.  It may not always be noticeable.  It may be burned up and smothered in ashes.  But we know, and are reminded by our stories (fact and fiction), that love will indeed rise up anew to cast off the darkness of our own misguided hate and confusion.

So, why not keep them coming?  It seems important enough to me.

P.S. I promise it's worth it. The whole thing. (And it's not my snuggie rap)

Twilight: an explanation...and insight

I admit – I read Twilight.  Just the first book in the saga so far, though.  I still don’t know exactly why.  It could be that I just want to be culturally relevant, but I have also started watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer lately and I am finding in myself a growing sense of vampire fascination.  I am being sucked in like the rest of America…someone please help! (Although I am not so far gone that I am watching True Blood yet.)

I am not going to use this space to bash Twilight or praise it (although I will admit at the outset that I tend toward the former – the writing style is excruciating, the story nearly unbearable, and Buffy is simply a far superior indulgence into vampire lore).  I will admit, though, that as much as I find it unpleasant, I still find myself at the end of the day wanting to read more – I don’t know whether that is to get through it quicker or because it is in some way interesting.

And that is the question that haunts me – why is Twilight so popular, so interesting to so many people?  What is it that has gotten so many people to read and talk about this story?  (I am sure the answer to this lies partly in the help that several very good looking actresses and bare chested actors contributed in their cinematic support of the story).

This especially troubles me when I think of Christianity – the religion I try my best to be a part of – and how it has become so unpopular.  I am not going to throw statistics out (you can trust the countless statistics thrown at me, or just google it), but clearly Christianity is falling far behind Twilight in the popularity scales.  Whether Christians think it is important to be popular or not, this still holds great consequences based on the millions of people who have unpopular, unfavorable impressions of Christians before they even know any personally.

So, how do we Twilightize Christianity?  How do we at least get people interested in what it is about?  How do we get people talking about it?   Well, there are probably many (bad) ways of doing that – even Hitler is popular (sorry to pull out the trump card there).  And I in no way think that marketing Christianity is a good idea.  Is there a way to make Christianity not necessarily popular, but favorable?  Is that even an important aspect of the religion?

As I thought about this, I thought about what made Twilight popular.  Here’s what I came up with:

It is like a delicious milkshake (by the way, I think that a rich, perfectly blended chocolate milkshake is the best human equivalent to intoxicating blood for a vampire): it tastes good, goes down easy, fills you up, and doesn’t leave you with a bad taste in your mouth (unless you are lactose intolerant).  It is very simple and easy to read, and it is romantically captivating.  It doesn’t necessarily challenge us but rather shows us an entrancing, pleasing story.  It leaves us feeling warm and fuzzy inside.  And it has vampires.  But is this really something we should copy as Christians?  Is this really what our message is about? 

I would say no.  Sure there are parts to a relationship with Jesus that are full of encouragement and the warm feeling of knowing God is with you, but that is not even half the story.  Christianity is challenging, convicting, and though very much worth it, not an easy ride.  Following Jesus often does not taste good, does not go down easy, and although it fills our souls and hearts, it often leaves our bodies wanting.  We don’t even have to read past the crucifixion to see how unpopular and unfavorable Jesus was.  The gospel is not always something people necessarily want, but it is something we all need.  So, how do we represent this unfavorable message to those who naturally reject it?  How do we serve bland bread and bitter wine to a population that is sucking down delicious milkshakes and fatty hamburgers?  I figure Twilight must have something to offer, so I decided to look at the book from a different view.

What do the characters in Twilight teach us about being accepted by the world?  How do they connect with such a broad audience so easily and have the opportunity to share their story with that audience? 

They are authentic (perhaps unrealistically so) and for the most part are overwhelmingly honest, at least within the Bella/Cullen circle.  They are relatable and connect with their audience on some level by doing and understanding normal human things even though no character is any more excessively normal than any of us.  They are loving and in pursuit of love no matter what it takes.  The characters, primarily Bella, have found a better, more meaningful existence even in the midst of the dreary drizzliness of life – something we all so desperately hope for.  And all this has to have some impact, some value or meaning to millions of people.

The Christian message may not be a popular one and this may not be all that Christians need to have the opportunity to share our story, but I think these are good lessons to take from the book.  We as Christians often don’t know how to connect with those around us, especially when we fail to be authentic, loving, and truly fascinated by the better life we have found in the midst of dreary days.  Granted, I haven’t read the whole series, and Christianity is much more nuanced than a fiction book, but I think the value in authenticity, honesty, relate-ability, and love will do nothing but help us be better Christians, and more ‘popular’, or more well received people as well.

Further (related) reading: Luke 9:57-10:37

Possessivity

I took karate lessons throughout elementary and middle school and towards the end of that time, I was on a special leadership team/program through the karate school.  It was called S.T.O.R.M., I believe, which stands for Special Team Of Role Models.  There were just a few of us and I don’t remember much about it outside of having somewhat regular meetings where we would all go into a back room and sit around and learn things about being a leader.  We had a booklet that we went through and it was all taught by the head instructor at the school.  Out of everything that happened at that point in my life, one of the things I remember the best was some advice/encouragement that was given to us all during one of these STORM meetings.

It was about taking pride in what you do, and basically went something like this:  You should take possession of what you do and the things you are a part of.  For example, you should say that MY school is…, or MY karate school does…, or MY country is….  I believe that this mindset was intended to make you really feel a part of the group or organization.  It makes you take responsibility and ownership of it.  It sponsors loyalty to the group and makes you take pride in who you are, what you do, and where you do it.

I bought into this for a couple of years and tried to really become ingrained in this thinking.  I got excited when I heard people taking possession of their organization, even if they didn’t realize what they were doing.  But that is the thing; we often don’t realize that we do it.  We are ingrained with the belief that we actually do possess some things.  And that it is good to have pride in them.  It is one of America’s highest values.

I don’t buy into that thinking anymore.

I realize that as hard as I try to collect things, as hard as I try to own stuff, ultimately none of it is mine.  As much as I want to say that plot of land and the house sitting on top of it that I live in is mine, it is simply untrue.  (Besides, what good is it that it is mine; it will merely deteriorate over time and at the end of my life be transferred to the ‘ownership’ of someone else.)  As much as I want to say that this life and what I have made of it is mine; as much as I want to take pride in myself and my accomplishments, I realize that at best my stuff, the land, even my life is borrowed.  I did not create it; I may have thrown some money at it, but I do not own it.

Pride can be very destructive in its typical, popular expression.  Pride in what we’ve done or who we are only feeds into the importance of making it our own, of possessing it.  Pride then separates us from others.  It makes us think that what we’ve done or who we are is better or at least different from them.  Taking pride in what you have done ascribes an undue importance to yourself. 

I don’t think pride in what we have or where we are is the right way to go; instead, I think love of that blessing, love of that place will get us farther.  Instead of making it ours, we should love it as it is, even if it is as far away from ours as it can be.  Love of something is inclusive, where pride in something is exclusive.  In a world where separation is what we are fighting for, where borders are more heavily guarded than ever, where we are fighting over the right to possess land that is not any of ours’ at all, only love of that space and love of those people will bring any peace or any resolution.

The good thing is that we can transform our possessing into receiving and giving in love even on a personal level.  Instead of thinking, “that egg is mine, why did he take it?” or “that egg is mine, but I will let you have it” and thus harboring anger in your heart or placing a friend in bondage of owing you something, we can think, “we are blessed to have eggs and glory be to the one who ultimately gave them to us to share and to nourish life!”  Instead of thinking, “you are my friend” and thus excluding other ‘non-friends’ or becoming jealous when ‘my’ friend befriends another friend, we can rejoice in the bond of love we all share.

The things I possess are not really my possessions.  The life I live is not my own.  I was blessed with the opportunity to live the way I live and have the things I have and I do not want to ruin it by taking pride in them.

“My life’s a cup of sugar I borrowed before time began and forgot to return.” – Aaron Weiss of mewithoutYou – “January 1979”

Heaven: What’s it like?

That great future mystery that so many of us hope to experience after death at some point. What is it? What does it look like?

I have no clue.

I’d say that most people would picture heaven a specific way, though. A bright, cloudy, spirit-y place. Maybe a place with a bunch of singing. A place where angels dwell. Possibly even pearly gates.

But I think what is more common is a type of assumption we all have had at one point about what heaven will be like in the sense of what we will be doing. I have often pictured heaven as a place where we will all just lounge around and rest. Maybe some big church services. I know some people believe it will be a place to ask questions and finally find answers. Maybe it is a place of true, ultimate enjoyment. I don’t doubt that, but I don’t know if it will be enjoyment as we think of that now. I question my own assumptions of heaven being a place to sit around and drink lemonade all day being somehow waited upon by God. I don’t know that he will just give us all good things in the form of a big party. I don’t know if that is what ultimate enjoyment, or ultimate worship, is.

I just got back from serving as a leader at a Wyldlife summer camp. Only one boy from our area came, so he was the only one I was in charge of. His name was Alex and he has Down syndrome. It was definitely a tough week for me, but also one of the most fulfilling weeks of my life. I was able (and forced) to completely serve. I gave of myself more completely than I ever have before. And in the middle of it I wondered – what if heaven was like this all the time?

What if heaven was a place where we could completely give of ourselves in service to other people? What if heaven is a place where we are so close to God that we can constantly be poured out? What if heaven is a place where we will finally be able to truly serve, to finally begin to live the way Jesus told us to live?

I don’t doubt that it will be restful even this way. I believe that heaven will be a place of worship, just maybe that will look different than we are used to. I also don’t think that this is something only reserved for the distant future. I think that I experienced a little piece of heaven this past week in spending time with Alex and pouring myself out in serving him.

“If I could become the servant of all – no lower place to fall.” –mewithoutYou (Aaron Weiss)

Mark 10:35-45

The Holy Bible, New International Version

Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”
“What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.
They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”
“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”
“We can,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with,
but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”
When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John.
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.
Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,
and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.
For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”