Throwback week continues - Speck

That's right, it's throwback week.  Monday's post was written almost exactly a year ago and today's was written almost exactly two years ago.  I guess I had a lot of good inspiration in July until this year.

I have purposefully not edited these two posts from whatever final draft I saved.  It's pretty cool to see how my thoughts have developed.  A little glimpse of the last of my teen angst in this one, maybe?

Speck – 7/14/08

Oh! This speck in my eye.

Why do you bother me so much?

Agitating, irritating my sweet soft eye -

Cutting, scratching, scarring.

But more than that -

Driving my head crazy.

At first, I cried all day, unintentionally of course,

My bed sheets were streaked with wet.

I removed my contacts,

But that just added blindness to the pain.

My finger fumbled – it is too big.

All I could accomplish was to reaffirm

The existence of that stupid speck.

Nothing in my power can fix this problem.

Maybe I should see an optometrist

In his clean white coat

And perfect rimmed glasses;

So he can over-analyze

And over-criticize

The way I’ve treated my poor red eye.

He would describe the exact nature

Of that wicked speck;

Or tell me how it is ruining my eye;

Maybe he would prescribe some

Fancy eye drops to ease the pain.

Eye drops don’t last forever, Mr. Optometrist.

And what good would eye drops do anyway,

When even tears fail me every second

(That is, when tears do come).

Oh, why won’t tears come anymore?

The salty beads used to roll down my cheeks,

But even then only smeared my print-outs

Of ‘What to do in Case of a Speck,’

And never did anything to remove it.

They are absent now.

Surely my body has some sort

Of evolutionary mechanism

That would eject this speck.

The speck is simply lodged too deep -

It has been there too long.

If only I had flushed it out at first

With some cool, refreshing water...

But wait, is it still there?

I can’t see it.

I can’t feel it.

Yes…it is just ever harder to notice.

Maybe I am getting used to it,

Or maybe it is starting to callous my eye.

Oh, how wonderful that would be,

That the pain would give way to strength.

I would have a better eye

Impervious to any nasty new speck.

However, what good is a calloused eye?

Can I even see out of it?

No - an eye is supposed to be tender and pure.

Forget you, calloused eye

And damn you speck!

You are not making me stronger at all

But rather weaker.

And more frustrated.

Oh God,

If you would just remove it!

I can’t live like this.

Give me new eyes,

Just let me start over.

Everyday Beautiful Stuff

Many people have told me over the years that I have pretty eyes.  I appreciate that compliment very much, but I have always wondered why I have that characteristic.  How did I get these eyes and why am I so lucky to have such nicely colored organs?

So people may refer to genetics to answer this question, but personally, I think that is too narrow a reason.  Besides, my explanation is much easier to understand.  I think that my eyes look the way they do because I have had the blessing of seeing so many beautiful things throughout my life.  The accumulation of such beautiful things over time has made a combined imprint on my eyeballs as they take it all in, producing a natural mosaic of beauty.

So, I want to share some of those beautiful things I have seen over the past month or so.

·         The noonday sun shimmering off dancing blades of grass in Keist Park.

·         The faces of loved friends looking down with care on my pathetic, broken body trapped in a hospital bed.

·         A squirrel repeatedly jumping onto the window screen at my apartment in a frantic attempt to come in and share some tea with me (I know this was his intention because I asked him).

·         The face of a 6^th grader when he has a mental breakthrough in understanding prime factors or the face of an eighth grader as she confidently describes a quadratic function.

·         The joy of an African refugee who gets to share his story and how real God has been in his life.

·         A warm, gooey homemade apple pie carefully crafted by the hands of newly made, but nonetheless good, friends.  And the subsequent eating of that pie.

·         A middle school five piece rock band jamming out for a roomful of screaming peers and satisfied parents.

·         The early spring sun rising up over houses and buildings to bring a peaceful new day to all the cars stuck in the traffic jam extending across the exit ramp between I45 and I30E.

·         The final victory screen in Mario Kart DS.

·         The passion and desire of a friend who desperately wants to cultivate a prayer life that will immerse him in the presence of God.

·         The majestic and wondrously painted inside of an Eastern Orthodox cathedral.

·         Picture texts from my sister of her (far too frequent) encounters with that privileged class of people who own the three wolf moon shirt.

·         The pristine orderliness and cleanliness of the green grass, flowing fountains, and stately trees on the SMU campus.

·         The messiness and dirtiness of the Wesley House after hosting a week of many wonderful fellowship opportunities.

·         A cloud that looked like sharp dinosaur claws closing in to secretly attack the science building.

·         The back of my eyelids during a much needed nap in the park through part of my lunch break.

·         The children that live in my apartment complex playing outside and the sidewalk chalk masterpieces they leave to make my walk out to the car so much more enjoyable.

·         A poem written by a 6^th grader in DISD hanging in the hall that was surprisingly good.

·         Encouraging, joyful updates from friends who are far away.

·         And, of course, many vivid and pastel, multi-colored, sunset painted skies that watch over the bustling city and draw the day to a close.