Good bye

Saying 'bye' has many variations:

There's the jaded, I'm better off without you, break-up, Kristinia DeBarge goodbye.

The longing, nostalgic, hopefully romantic, Miley Cyrus goodbye.

The respectful (albeit somewhat proud), remembering losing a loved one, Mariah Carey bye bye.

And, of course, the overwhelming, spilling your emotional guts, 'surely this isn't really bye' goodbye.

And still I'm left to wonder, is there a difference between 'bye' and 'goodbye'?

I will be moving to a new state in about two months. I will be leaving almost all of my close friends. I have known that I will have to say goodbye at some point, but in my mind, I have been putting it off until the day before I leave. And since I don't know exactly when I will be leaving, the goodbyes are just as indefinite.

But, reality hit this past weekend and I had to say bye to a close friend. It was awkward and not easy. Thankfully in these cases I am not very emotional – even robotic (not something I am necessarily proud of, though). As I left, my roboticness kicked in, but soon after, another emotion crept through me saturating my dry, emotionless soul.

Not sadness, though. Not that painful heart-ripping feeling.

As I walked on and got back to my room, I thought about some of my other friends. It seems everyone is going somewhere different. Japan for a year. Alaska for a job. Ecuador for a year. Other friends will be staying in Dallas, and I may not see them for the same amount of time as my friends who are going overseas.

I thought about all this and treasured it in my heart. That emotion that started creeping in grew in intensity and soon I was able to identify it. Joy. I am overjoyed for all my friends and the wonderful things they are doing. I haven't felt this way through any other major life transition up to this point (granted I haven't had many of those), but it was truly refreshing.

It was very much a good bye.

And I hope yours and the rest of mine are similar.