Concert Etiquette

I went to a concert last week, something I do seasonally (about 3-4 times a year), and enjoy immensely. After careful observational study of diverse concert settings and deductive reasoning into the nature of the interaction between concert-goer, concert-performer, and concert venue, I would like to propose these 10 Commandments of proper concert etiquette (primarily applying to a [indie] rock concert atmosphere):

1. Thou shalt get to the venue as early as possible, at least a couple of hours before the doors open to show your fan loyalty. Unfortunately, this will not make a good impression on anyone and the band/artist will never know (much less care) about your sacrifice.

2. Thou shalt wear the skinny jeans.

3. As soon as the sound check begins, thou shalt crowd up as close to the stage and everyone else as you can, but don't forget to save a spot for that one friend of yours who you know will show up late.

4. Thou shalt wear the v-neck t-shirt.

5. If the show has already started when you arrive, thou shalt just hold up thy cell phone and shove up to the front. Sure, everyone will hate you, but you didn't come to be packed into a tightly contained space with a bunch of strangers to make friends.

6. Thou shalt incorporate song titles and lyrics into your conversations the day of the concert.
   
   
7. Thou shalt get into the music, but don't really get into it. It's okay to bob your head and tap your foot, but letting the music truly move you is out of the question (just follow the majority of the crowd on this one - psychologists call this groupthink).

8. Thou shalt be up to date on all the lead singer's personal info and shout it out at the band in between songs.
   
   
9. Thou shalt never attain ear plugs. You'll look like a wimp. So when you go to the bathroom and realize you can't even hear yourself urinating, don't let it cross your mind to stuff some wadded up toilet paper in your aching external organs before heading back out.

10. Thou shalt take lots of crappy pictures of the band on stage that each look exactly the same.

Dependence

I don't get sick very often, but when I do there is one thing that is sure to come to my mind: dependence. I dislike feeling weak and vulnerable even more than throwing up or any pain I may have.

I am not a very dependent person naturally (especially when I do not have the choice). I like to get things done on my own. That is probably why I don't like working in groups that much (although I think that working in groups is overall better than working alone).

My thoughts specifically drift toward dependence on God. It is something I have struggled with a lot. I usually don't think about it until I get ill or until something I try doesn't work the way I thought I could pull it off. For me, dependence is normally a last effort at trying to fix some sort of crisis of life/faith.

This has especially been on my mind lately since I sustained probably the longest lasting injury of my life so far. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpe6oH2jZjM&playnext_from=TL&videos=sRkdaZwF62k

I have been recovering the past two months from a fractured clavicle. It is a frustrating injury for me because only one small section of my body is out of commission, but it is an important part and has kept me from doing a lot of what I normally do.

Nevertheless, I have almost completely healed now. In a resurgence of strength I have been able to jump back into my self empowered life.

But I am not too far from the injury as to forget about the dependence my life has been based around of late. And last week, during a Taize service, I was left with God to talk about dependence.

The scripture reading was the passage where Jesus goes to the garden of Gethsemane; and, after meditating on how God will be there to support me when I exhaust myself, I then turned toward what it truly means to be dependent on God. Up to this point, I thought that meant waiting on God to engage me or intercede in my life. I wanted to depend on God the way a baby depends on its parents.  It seemed a very passive process for my part.

But suddenly I was struck with the phrase “I sacrifice my will to you, O Lord.” And I thought about that in light of dependence. Could a preemptive sacrificing of my will be the ultimate form of dependence on God, a true form of trusting completely in Him?

Dependence is not a passive state; rather, it is the active sacrificing of your will moment by moment. It is allowing God to guide and direct your life. And that is truly freeing.

Dependence is not good in and of itself. Parasitic relationships are founded on dependence. The parasite is completely dependent on the host. Even though such a parasite may often harm or even kill the host, it must have and prey on that host to live. The parasite is dependent, but for purely selfish gains. A sacrificial dependence protects against such a greedy, parasitic relationship with God that depends on Him only to provide us with a good life.

And to be fair, this relationship, be it good or bad, doesn't start with us. It starts with God's love and mercy. So, I guess in a sense we do have to wait for God to do something. But, He has already done it! And through his engagement with this world and intercession in our lives, we are able to take on God's will for our own lives and live dependently on/in Him.

Today I went to my third physical therapy session. At the very end I asked for an ice pack and got to lay down with the ice for a good 10 minutes. While laying there I closed my eyes and thought about that therapy session. The guidance I received to safely re-strengthen my limp, weak arm without re-injuring it, the gentle stretching of my stiff shoulder, and the soft, silky hands messaging my tense arm (I do have a woman therapist, jfyi). Maybe dependence isn't so bad after all (in a non-parasitic way).

Good bye

Saying 'bye' has many variations:

There's the jaded, I'm better off without you, break-up, Kristinia DeBarge goodbye.

The longing, nostalgic, hopefully romantic, Miley Cyrus goodbye.

The respectful (albeit somewhat proud), remembering losing a loved one, Mariah Carey bye bye.

And, of course, the overwhelming, spilling your emotional guts, 'surely this isn't really bye' goodbye.

And still I'm left to wonder, is there a difference between 'bye' and 'goodbye'?

I will be moving to a new state in about two months. I will be leaving almost all of my close friends. I have known that I will have to say goodbye at some point, but in my mind, I have been putting it off until the day before I leave. And since I don't know exactly when I will be leaving, the goodbyes are just as indefinite.

But, reality hit this past weekend and I had to say bye to a close friend. It was awkward and not easy. Thankfully in these cases I am not very emotional – even robotic (not something I am necessarily proud of, though). As I left, my roboticness kicked in, but soon after, another emotion crept through me saturating my dry, emotionless soul.

Not sadness, though. Not that painful heart-ripping feeling.

As I walked on and got back to my room, I thought about some of my other friends. It seems everyone is going somewhere different. Japan for a year. Alaska for a job. Ecuador for a year. Other friends will be staying in Dallas, and I may not see them for the same amount of time as my friends who are going overseas.

I thought about all this and treasured it in my heart. That emotion that started creeping in grew in intensity and soon I was able to identify it. Joy. I am overjoyed for all my friends and the wonderful things they are doing. I haven't felt this way through any other major life transition up to this point (granted I haven't had many of those), but it was truly refreshing.

It was very much a good bye.

And I hope yours and the rest of mine are similar.

Center

Bright Eyes, At the Bottom of Everything

In 1506(ish) Copernicus figured out that the center of the universe was not the earth, but rather the sun.

I have made some equally important discoveries lately:

The center of the United States is Kansas (see thrilling pic).

The center of North America is North Dakota.

The center of a fruit is its life giving seed.

The center of our body is our heart (more or less).

The center of a seesaw or a merry-go-round is crucial not only for the physics behind it to work, but is also crucial for transforming a wooden board or a metal circle into hours of fun.

The center of our living rooms are our televisions.

Next time you go into one, see if it is. I don't mean that the TV is in the geographic center of the room (obviously that would be ridiculous because only half the room would be able to see it, right?). The TV is definitely the focal point, however. Every piece of furniture faces it. Often the entire layout of a room is constructed around where the television must go.

Is this strangely unsatisfying to anyone else? Or do I just have an abnormal dislike of TV?

It seems at one point in our history, the center of a room was the people in it.

Some people may say that we are living in a world where boundaries are blurring into one another and where everything is connected, which results in a loss of centers. The internet is a prime example.

Sure, there is no center to the internet, but there is most definitely a center to your activity on the internet – where you spend the most time – probably facebook.

Socio-cultural researchers tell us that postmodern generations are no longer linear. We are defining ourselves and connecting and thinking in more fluid based networks. We live in webs rather than the assembly lines or corporate hierarchy of our parents.

With this change comes gains and losses.  It impacts how we think about ourselves and others, especially concerning the centrality of our lives.  Although something such as priorities (which are too rigid and structured and linear) may be lost in this thinking, even a web has a center. It may be a self constructed center and everyone may have a different focus, but it is nonetheless a center. (And face it, even priorities are self constructed and differ from person to person.)

That center becomes the foundation of all that we do. In the tangled, confusing mess of our lives, that center holds us together. It is not something we give attention to first before moving on to something else, nor is it a place to provide escape; rather, it is something to color and give meaning to all we do.

Unfortunately, we build our life webs around such a center, most of the time not knowing what that center actually is.

What's the center of your life?

The labyrinth is an ancient tool of reflection – often self reflection (but I think if you do it with enough honesty and humility, you will realize that reflecting on yourself is much less important and fulfilling than focusing on other things). It fell out of use when humans thought we could be better at (or at least get paid for) being aids to self reflection – yes, that was a jab at psychologists. But the labyrinth is still very useful and I would encourage you to try one out.

If you can't find a full sized one, try tracing this one with your finger. Slowly trace into the center and then back out. Focus on what the center of your life is and whether that is a center that can truly hold everything else together. Is it really life giving? Is it really valuable (with lasting value)? Is it true to yourself or is it imposed and self masking?

After that, you can go ahead and make your check out to Dr. Patrick...

Willow Tree

Dear, green willow tree,

Sweet, serene willow tree.

Your gentle boughs bowing down

To softly, gently touch me.

Too seldom my shade from hot summer sun,

Too often mere afterthought of midday run.

Yet peace you ‘ere provide

If not for all who never come.

Patient, stately willow tree,

Gracing the land with your beauty.

Your long arms stretched out in kindness

Scorned by child, so carefree.

They tug and pull your branches raw

Who yank and hang till young leaves fall.

A quick glimpse out my window pane,

And by terror am kept enthralled.

Dry, yellow willow tree,

Fading leafed willow tree.

Leaves no longer lush and moist,

But crisp beneath my feet.

Your limbs now arching limply down

Seek relief from supportive ground.

You’ve bent and borne the brunt of our affection

And with deep roots some deep strength found.

Gracious, lonely willow tree,

Birds find sure home within thee.

Trapped apart by gated fence,

Your only friends, not family.

Now evening casts a hazy shadow.

Final song spewed by neighbor sparrow.

While air is still and deep and thick,

Tough bark tries hard to move your marrow.

Bare, brown willow tree,

Thin, waning willow tree.

Your bony tendrils oft laid bare

Not yet but a memory.

What trying hardship ails you so,

That on your limbs no leaves do grow?

Is it we, your stewards, stripped you bare?

For the same you hang be it sun or snow.

Stripped, withered willow tree,

You once were majesty.

And yet still far too young to die.

Where now is your glory?

Nighttime shrouds your weary limbs.

Too tired! Your shame the darkness hems.

Laid to rest we fear far more a season.

Your existence left naught but memorable whims.

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But sun emerges, so bright, so free,

Trumpeting new day with cool swift breeze

That breathes new life in your leafy presence

And sets in motion branches dancing!

Alive again you spring forth new.

Rise up from ground from which you grew.

Hold in strong hands both cardinal and dove, 

Reaching up to kiss the sky so blue.

Squeeze

I have been training for my new job the past two days where I have (surprisingly) learned that training is a lot of fun if you get into it.  I am the screaming toes champion, a finalist in hooyah!, and much more knowledgeable in maintaining classroom behavior and establishing academic day camp curriculum. 

Of all the good things about the past few days, one other thing has really stuck out to me.  All the employees are independent contractors, so we have time sheets that we fill in to get paid.  Every day I watch and participate in this process where we all count up hours, round up whenever possible, and try to squeeze as much as we possibly can onto the paper.  I notice in myself and others that we immediately see what maximum time we can put down.  We think, “Can I get away with including lunch?” or “Surely we can include the total scheduled time we are supposed to be here (never mind the fact we got there a little late and finished an hour early).”

We all do this.  We try to squeeze every possible benefit from a situation.  In this particular example, once I noticed this, it disgusted me.  I don’t want that type of thinking where money drives my interactions to the point of mild lying.  I don’t want to be ruled by that ‘grabbing for whatever I can get’ mentality.

It happens all the time.  Take any lawsuit as a case.  A process that should be set up to ensure that similar bad things don’t happen to other people or to bring awareness to companies or individuals of something gone wrong is being distorted and now functions merely as a way to squeeze whatever gain you can from someone else. 

Or even when someone is giving stuff away for free (as promotion or whatever it may be).  We take whatever crappy, plastic giveaway toys we can get, just to discard them when we get home.  Because we are so hardwired to take all that we can get, especially if we don’t really do anything to get it.

It doesn’t seem healthy.  It feels like a loss of moderation and self control.  Sure, you are technically entitled to this stuff, but will it really make your life better?  Will it really provide any good or satisfaction in anyone’s life?

A lot of people I respect would probably say I am crazy to not put down the max hours I could on my time sheet – that it is just being smart to get as much money as I could.  Granted, but maybe being smart is not what this life is all about.

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Last night, I was studying a passage of the Bible, the first chapter of 1 Corinthians, where Paul speaks of focusing on Christ rather than other ‘good’ people (teachers) or even ourselves.  He says we should be foolish, or in other words humbly faithful to a kind of crazy message (salvation from a dead ‘criminal’).  We should not seek wisdom, but rather foolishness.

What does embracing this foolishness mean?  Does this mean that we should deny anything that would be ‘smart’ to do?  Does it mean that we should just empty ourselves and wait for God to fill us up?  Is God’s message to us in Christ too simple – must we dumb ourselves down to understand it?

No. Of course the message is not simple at all – it goes beyond human imagination and philosophy.  Of course we should not just become idiotic and think God will lay in our laps all that we need to know of Him or do.   Just think about what kind of person that would make you.

We must zealously seek after God and squeeze whatever little bit of knowledge and experience of Him out of our lives that we can.  That is why Paul is such a good example of what he is teaching here.  He never stopped pursuing God.  He may have been a fool (which is a good thing here) by not relying on himself or the world to fulfill any desire, but he was no idle idiot. 

I have noticed in myself and others that as we get more comfortable with the crucified Christ (as if we ever could be comfortable with that), as we align ourselves more fully to this belief, we often lose steam.  We accept the bare minimum of a spiritual life – whatever God will place in our laps.

This is not the foolishness Paul talks about.  This is not humility.  Humility is not laying down and getting trod upon.  Rather, it is boasting only in him who is in true control.  It is knowing what you are good at and putting all your effort behind that to serve someone else.  It is squeezing all you can out of yourself to better serve and love God.  It is squeezing all you can out of God to better know and follow him.