Throwback week continues - Speck

That's right, it's throwback week.  Monday's post was written almost exactly a year ago and today's was written almost exactly two years ago.  I guess I had a lot of good inspiration in July until this year.

I have purposefully not edited these two posts from whatever final draft I saved.  It's pretty cool to see how my thoughts have developed.  A little glimpse of the last of my teen angst in this one, maybe?

Speck – 7/14/08

Oh! This speck in my eye.

Why do you bother me so much?

Agitating, irritating my sweet soft eye -

Cutting, scratching, scarring.

But more than that -

Driving my head crazy.

At first, I cried all day, unintentionally of course,

My bed sheets were streaked with wet.

I removed my contacts,

But that just added blindness to the pain.

My finger fumbled – it is too big.

All I could accomplish was to reaffirm

The existence of that stupid speck.

Nothing in my power can fix this problem.

Maybe I should see an optometrist

In his clean white coat

And perfect rimmed glasses;

So he can over-analyze

And over-criticize

The way I’ve treated my poor red eye.

He would describe the exact nature

Of that wicked speck;

Or tell me how it is ruining my eye;

Maybe he would prescribe some

Fancy eye drops to ease the pain.

Eye drops don’t last forever, Mr. Optometrist.

And what good would eye drops do anyway,

When even tears fail me every second

(That is, when tears do come).

Oh, why won’t tears come anymore?

The salty beads used to roll down my cheeks,

But even then only smeared my print-outs

Of ‘What to do in Case of a Speck,’

And never did anything to remove it.

They are absent now.

Surely my body has some sort

Of evolutionary mechanism

That would eject this speck.

The speck is simply lodged too deep -

It has been there too long.

If only I had flushed it out at first

With some cool, refreshing water...

But wait, is it still there?

I can’t see it.

I can’t feel it.

Yes…it is just ever harder to notice.

Maybe I am getting used to it,

Or maybe it is starting to callous my eye.

Oh, how wonderful that would be,

That the pain would give way to strength.

I would have a better eye

Impervious to any nasty new speck.

However, what good is a calloused eye?

Can I even see out of it?

No - an eye is supposed to be tender and pure.

Forget you, calloused eye

And damn you speck!

You are not making me stronger at all

But rather weaker.

And more frustrated.

Oh God,

If you would just remove it!

I can’t live like this.

Give me new eyes,

Just let me start over.